A Word with You Press - Latest Comments

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Mac Eagan — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 12:53:14 -0000

Wish my lunches lasted this long . . .

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Monica Brinkman — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 09:46:40 -0000

Great story Sal. Scares the wits out of me. As always, your creativity and imagination continue to impress me. Keep em coming.

Re: Once a knight, we have a knaval engagement…

Monica Brinkman — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 09:40:26 -0000

What an intersting prompt. Love it.

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Diane Cresswell — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 22:32:18 -0000

Yah well who would write their history and their infamous deeds???? Let them ponder on that one....and of course no one could read about their hysterical deeds either. Yikes that could be a good thing!!!

Re: Once a knight, we have a knaval engagement…

Stars Fall On My Heart — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 19:46:23 -0000

I might try to do is prompt either way LOL

Re: Monika Brinkman

Mac Eagan — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 19:23:44 -0000

There are two elements in this story that stand out to me.
One is a teaching from the Bible that one of the reasons Jesus came to earth and lived as a human was so that on his return to heaven as Judge, mankind would have "not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities" but someone who was able to empathize with the sufferings of humanity, having lived and suffered as a human himself.
The second thing I appreciated here was the recognition of the stress and suffering of the caretakers for the chronically ill. Never mind what regular parents go through when they make decisions with their children's best interests in mind, but are received with opposition. In this case the parent has to do something that truly is painful to the child, even though it is done in love. I have not had to go through that myself, but your story helps me to have renewed appreciation for those that have.
Thanks.

Re: The Kite Bummer…Janet Klise

Mac Eagan — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 18:56:42 -0000

Janet, let me start by saying I typically don't read ghost stories (we all have our favorite genres . . . and our non-favorites) but by the time I figured that out on this one I was over half-way through and had to finish.
Your dialog is excellent and you have the right 'mannerisms' for each character to be able to identify them without narrative. The only line that doesn't make sense to me is the sheriff's apology for his deputy's abruptness. The only lines in the story that his apology could be connected to are the first two, and those read to me like the father and the mother speaking. Which means there is no statement from the deputy and makes the sheriff's comment out of place. But the rest of the dialog is fairly easy to follow and very easy on the second read-through (yep, I read it twice).
As I said, I was halfway (or more) through the story the first time before I realized Charlie wasn't being ignored - he was actually not being heard. Your pace of revealing his condition is perfectly timed.
I also liked the way you had the mother speaking of Charlie in present tense and correcting herself to past tense as she tried to deal with the horror of the reality.
And I think you chose wisely to end the story on the mother's grief. Very true to life, the lasting sadness of losing a child.
You have exhibited great talent.

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Salvatore Buttaci — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 18:01:28 -0000

Oh, Middleislandpress, you are much too kind! Thanks for taking time to read my flash, Christina.

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Middleislandpress — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:56:24 -0000

Sounds like you're ready for movie scripts, Salvatore!

Re: The Kite Bummer…Janet Klise

Janet Klise — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:05:38 -0000

First of all, Diane, thanks very much for taking the time to comment. I
appreciate it!
I really can’t tell you what led my imagination in that direction. I am
best at writing sentimental memoir-type pieces and poems. I’ve only written a
few short stories, but I enjoy writing them, and once I finish them to my
satisfaction, I am in love with every word!

Thorn’s contests have really tried and tested me, but I am learning
and growing, for which I am grateful. Since I found AWwYP, I’ve written 3
stories wherein cats talk to each other, 2 vampire stories, a story wrapped
around a painting and this one. I had never written those types of stories
before, especially stories where there is a moment of (sometimes horrid)
discovery at the very end.

This story started as a 984-word rebellion against the request for a
dialog-dominant story. I wrote it without a quote or paraphrase in it. It’s a
straight narrative with the same plot and this ending: “The last thing left of
Charlie on this earth was his battered, sad little body, tangled amidst the
kite’s broken fronds, the tender grass of the meadow strewn across the horrible
grimace that was once Charlie’s face.”

It had no sheriff or deputy or ghost of little Charlie in it until I
thought that maybe I should try to do a story of some substance and length (925
words) and do it in dialog only. This was my attempt.

Thanks again, Diane, and my apologies for the long explanation.

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Thorn — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:02:56 -0000

good stuff Sal...I'll write more after I go to lunch...Pander Express

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Thorn — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 17:01:33 -0000

I saw a great bumper sticker: I think, therefore I am not Newt Gingrich.

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Salvatore Buttaci — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:56:51 -0000

And yet the thought, Ken, is so damn frightening!

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Salvatore Buttaci — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:56:26 -0000

Oren, I too cannot fathom a society where writers are prohibited to write. Pray God it never comes to that.

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Salvatore Buttaci — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:55:25 -0000

Richard, nothing pleases me more than to write a story others enjoy. What great company of writers I keep!

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Salvatore Buttaci — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:54:22 -0000

Thanks, Clstuart!

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Salvatore Buttaci — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:53:57 -0000

Diane, "New America" is a country I fear the most. Despots have done their best to burn books but let's pray God one does not come along and completely finish the evil deed.

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Salvatore Buttaci — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:52:12 -0000

Mac, coming from you, a writer I highly respect and enjoy, this comment of yours lifts me up on an otherwise rainy day!

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Mac Eagan — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:05:24 -0000

Sal, yours was probably the most clever take on the prompt line of any story submitted. Even in bold font I skipped right over it the first time. Incredible talent, friend.
I was also impressed with how you took an overused, two-dimensional stereotype (menacing, cigar-chomping military commander) and made him into an engaging character. You used enough of what we have come to expect for us to know what to expect, then added bits and pieces to make him interesting.
Good work all the way around.

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Diane Cresswell — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 13:32:11 -0000

Oh Sal...what can I say...the image you bring to us sends ripples of horror through my DNA. I can't imagine what a society like this would be...like the good ol' dinosaur age. But even then - the human dwellers wrote on the walls of caves. You took this one to a future that is very scary and yet ya still pandered to the editor. Kudos for that - hehehe...

Re: The Kite Bummer…Janet Klise

Diane Cresswell — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 13:28:25 -0000

I asked Ed what dimension his imagination went to and now I have to ask the same of you. Wow this really made imprints on my eyes and imagination also. Took off with this one quite well Janet. Liked it...not images - they're still lingering...

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Clstuart — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 13:22:55 -0000

Interesting twist!

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Richard Godwin — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 12:24:38 -0000

Another brilliant story Sal. You are a man of many talents.

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Oren O. Cousins — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 11:13:55 -0000

Fascinating story.! I enjoyed it immensely, Good thing it is awesome fiction . Imagining a paperless and writerless world almost blew mind. Had to pinch myself to be reassured that it is fiction and not real.

Re: Sal Buttaci deNewds America…

Ken Weene — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 10:32:48 -0000

As always Sal amuses while demanding we think.